Kelly Cheng attempts to deflect social media criticism the same way she would a volleyball spiked in her direction: by blocking it out.
But sometimes the negativity, like a ball that occasionally avoids the outstretched arms of the 6-foot-2 Team USA volleyball star, lands in the sand.
"Those words hit me like knives if I listen to them and I allow them to," Cheng said on an episode of "My New Favorite Olympian."
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Many professional athletes are subjected to insensitive and unwarranted abuse on social media, making a scroll through their mentions and DMs a torturous exercise for their mental health.
Cheng, a 27-year-old from California, said she has been targeted over everything from her religion to her body to her playing style.
"Everybody gets ripped online, but I've had death threats on Instagram," she said. "They're messaging me like, 'I hope, like, your plane crashes on the way home.' Like, 'I hope your whole family dies.' I'm just like, 'Whoa!'"
Such hateful words, whether on social media or from a spectator just feet away, can impact performance, even for those competing on sports' most global stage.
"Me reading that is letting it in," she said. "So, that really feeds into the negative self-talk because then that negative voice in my head starts repeating those things that I've read, which I don't need to give it more ammo. My internal negative already has enough ammo, I don't have to give it more."
The ammo is occasionally from friendly fire, like a self-criticism that alters her mindset during competition. Even in moments of success.
Cheng, in October, teamed with Sara Hughes to capture the United States’ first world volleyball championship since 2009. The victory cemented their status as contenders at the 2024 Paris Olympics, where the U.S. is seeking to capture its fifth gold meal in six Games.
It will be the second appearance at the Games for Cheng and Hughes, having finished ninth at the Tokyo Olympics where they were the youngest duo to ever represent Team USA in beach volleyball.
“Every match, every point, every contact on the ball felt like life or death,” Cheng said of her Olympic mindset. “I was stressed mentally, physically.”
Every moment, and every mistake, was magnified in her mind. That pressure generated what she called “negative self talk.”
“Sometimes when I'm in that negative mindset, it almost feels like a train coming at me,” she said. “And if it gets too fast, I can't stop the train.”
To slow the train, Cheng learned to clear her mind. That meant no longer reading comments on social media and volleyball forums, and learning how to tune out the crowd and her own negativity.
She began to work with a sports psychologist to replace her "negative self talk" with "neutral self talk."
“I push all of those thoughts away and get back into neutral self talk,” she said. “Like, ‘OK, this next ball I'm going to get my feet there.’ Or, ‘I'm going to get my arms out early.’ It's like, be small when I'm going to do task-focused communication to myself. And that's how Sara and I communicate to each other. And that's been super helpful for me.”
Cheng in turn has become super helpful to young volleyball players by starting a program called Beach Mentorship Camp.
Each January, it pairs eight teenage girls with professional volleyball players in California for three days of mentorship on and off the sand. The mentors are asked to remain invested in their mentee after the program, as Cheng has done with her first protégé, Grace Hong, who is now a beach volleyball player at the University of Southern California.
“I could go to her with anything,” Hong said on “My New Favorite Olympian."
“I could go to her with something that has nothing to do with volleyball and she would give you the best advice on the planet. It's like she has ultimate knowledge about everything.”
For Cheng, Hong has gone from being a mentee to a sister — and perhaps, some day, a fellow Olympian.
“What if my last Olympic run is her first Olympic run?” Cheng asked. “Moments like that are so special... And that wouldn't happen if we didn't put in the work now.”
Cheng was interviewed for My New Favorite Olympian, a series that tells the stories of Team USA’s most inspiring athletes and the causes they champion. Subscribe to My New Favorite Olympian wherever you get your podcasts.
