Road Chalk and Alaskan Pipelines is Will Brinson's weekly NFL gambling column at FanHouse. Because everyone loves a loser.
Well. That was a rough week last week. Again, I blame Vegas. (Like there was any chance I was going to pull in a winning week after heading out there.) Or maybe I'm just an "every other week" type of gambler. Anyway, last week was a 6-10, with a 1-2 record on my Tungstens. So, um, yeah. 20-27 for the season. You're winning a ton of money if you're betting against me.
Let's rock.
Denver Broncos (-10) @ Kansas City Chiefs
If there was ever one time to bet on this 2008 Kansas City Chiefs team, if there was ever one reason to lay money on Herm Edwards this year, if there was one excuse to pull your mortgage certificate out of your safe and hand it over to creepy guy who lives in Garner, NC, well, it was when you saw that +900 prop bet for the Chiefs to go 0-16 this year.
Broncos -10
Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3.5)
Everything is on the line this week, Derek Anderson. And I mean everything. Well, except the guaranteed portion of your contract. But pride, yeah buddy. It's all hanging out on the line for everyone to see, just like Brady Quinn's social life.
**Browns +3.5**
Sports
Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-7.5)
I really want to believe the Texans aren't as bad as I thought they were and I really want to believe the Titans aren't as good. The Jaguars drive me insane. I guess this is why I'm writing a "Loser's Guide to Gambling Column."
Jaguars -7.5
Arizona Cardinals @ New York Jets (-1)
What does it say about the Jets that the Cardinals just lost to the Redskins and yet New York is only favored by one point at home? Well, actually it says that the transitive property doesn't really apply to NFL teams. But I'll probably keep betting on the Cardinals anyway. What? They keep doing the same thing with Kurt Warner.
Cardinals +1
San Francisco 49ers @ New Orleans Saints (-6)
The downside of the Saints is that they don't have much offense -- in theory -- because of injuries. The downside of the 49ers is that I don't think they have much of a defense. Of course, neither do the Saints. It's gonna be a close, ugly, shootout.
Niners +6
Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers (-7)
Not. High. Enough.
Panthers -7
Minnesota Vikings @ Tennessee Titans (-3)
GUS FREROTTE AND KERRY COLLINS ARE SQUARING OFF IN A 2008 NFL GAME. And people think baseball is in trouble.
Vikings +3
Green Bay Packers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1)
This is called a freebie. I'm still firmly in the camp that the Packers are an upper echelon NFL team but the Cowboys are just that good (because it's not December yet). So one point is kind of like a bonus.
**Packers +1**
Buffalo Bills (-8) @ St. Louis Rams
Honestly, how is anyone supposed to bet on the Rams ever again? They're worse than the Chiefs. Have we ever seen two teams go 0-16 in one season before? They just benched Marc Bulger for Trent Green and ohmigod everything has come full circle. Don't care.
Bills -8
San Diego Chargers (-8) @ Oakland Raiders
I was born to go large on the Chargers this week. Philip Rivers, road chalk and the Raiders? Hells to the yes.
**Chargers -8**
Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys (-11)
I remember freshman year of college when a bunch of us went to the beach in the fall -- it was cold, yes, but still enjoyable. We bet on games "for fun" all weekend and all got our faces in beat in, to the point where Cowboys - Skins on Sunday night was our "double down on whatever you've lost and get your money back game". The Cowboys were heavily favored and we all took the Skins. Or maybe I just took the Skins. Point being is that I have learned my lesson on that one.
Cowboys -11
Philadelphia Eagles (-3) @ Chicago Bears
You know, logic would say to take the Bears here. Home dogs, Monday night, Brian Westbrook banged up, people talking about Donovan McNabb's chest. But let's say we throw logic out the window for a brief moment, m'kay?
Eagles -3
