A family bid their final farewell to their father in a colorful obituary that describes his zany quirks.
Robert Adolph Boehm, the subject of the humor-filled eulogy, died on Oct. 6 at the age of 74, according to the obituary shared by Robertson Funeral Directors — based in Clarendon, Texas — in a Facebook post that quickly went viral.
The post features the eulogy’s opening lines, which describe Boehm’s death as having occurred “in accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, (he) muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse shortly before tripping backward over ‘some stupid m------------ thing’ and hitting his head.”
Boehm, a father of four, is remembered for his conveniently timed evasion of the Vietnam draft by becoming a father three times between 1967 and 1972.
“Much later, with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983,” the obituary continued.
According to The Washington Post, the obituary was written by Boehm's aforementioned youngest child, Charles Boehm.
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Boehm’s obituary noted that his lack of military service “was probably for the best,” given that he managed to shoot holes in his own car’s dashboard on two separate occasions. The obituary quipped that his late wife Dianne, who had become accustomed to such mishaps, “may have actually been safer in the jungles of Vietnam the entire time.”
Adding more about his wife, who died earlier this year, the obituary stated: “In February, God finally showed mercy upon Dianne, getting her the hell out of there for some well-earned peace and quiet.”
The tribute to Boehm continued with more colorful anecdotes about his life, noting that he “became a semi-professional truck driver — not to be confused with a professional semi-truck driver.” It also highlighted his fascination with historical weapons (despite his aversion to actual war zones), his collection of harmonicas, and later, his roadshow, which he created to entertain his local community.
“A man of many interests, Robert was not to be entranced by historical weapons alone, but also had a penchant for fashion, frequently seen about town wearing the latest trend in homemade leather moccasins, a wide collection of unconventional hats, and boldly mismatched shirts and pants.”
The obituary wrapped up with some fun-loving final lines.
“We have all done our best to enjoy/weather Robert’s antics up to this point, but he is God’s problem now.”
It also invited attendees to Boehm’s “final farewell tour” with a request to honor him with “outlandish or mismatched outfits, a nod to his eccentric fashion sense.”
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