Salary negotiation advice tends to focus on leaning in, presenting evidence of your competence, and emphasizing that what you want is not only reasonable, but earned.

All of this is sound guidance, but doesn't touch on what might be the most effective skill for upping your salary: asking questions.

In her recent TED Talk, United Nations negotiation trainer Alex Carter says this is the "one negotiation technique that most of us are not using."

Workers are so focused on making their point that they forget negotiating is supposed to be a conversation where both sides contribute to the solution.

"Bottom line, in negotiation you get more by asking questions than you do by arguing," Carter says. "Curious people make more money."

'Tell me'

Asking for a raise or title bump is understandably nerve-wracking, but also proven to be quite fruitful: 87% of workers who negotiated got at least some of what they asked for, according to a 2022 report by Fidelity.

The best type of question to ask while negotiating doesn't actually include a question mark, Carter says. It starts with "tell me."

Let's say you're talking to a hiring manager and want to know how much flexibility the company offers around pay. You could ask "What is the salary for this position?" and you'll get a straight forward number.

A better question to ask, Carter says, would be "Tell me how the company sees the salary range for this position." That way you are lightly steering the conversation toward potential room for growth and how the company handles raises.

"'Tell me' gets you the most information, but it also builds trust, so it creates the best deals," Carter says.

You're inviting your boss or a recruiter to help solve the problem, as opposed to treating them as an obstacle.

"[When negotiating] I want to pull them around with questions to my side of the table so that we are now co-conspirators working toward the same goal," Carter says.

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