COLLEGE PARK, Md. -- The University of Maryland will join the likes of fine educational institutions such as UCLA, Northwestern, Carnegie Mellon and Rensselaer Polytechnic when it screens a pornographic parody of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series.
We applaud producers Joone and Samantha Lewis for trying to bring plot back to porn in this electronic age of instant-access to money shots, but what a lame title: "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge." Whatever happened to inspired titles like "Edward Penishands," "Interview with a Vibrator" and, of course, "Deep Throat"?
"Pirates II" will be shown at Maryland's Hoff Theater Saturday at midnight. Planned Parenthood will give a small talk about sexual health that sources said will include a condom giveaway before the film. For the sake of the students we hope scurvy and safe swordplay will be addressed.
"The popularity of 'Pirates' with the college-age demographic led us to believe screening 'Pirates II' would bring in a good draw from the University of Maryland community and would be a fun event ..." Hoff programming coordinator Lisa Cunningham said in a statement released by Digital Playground, the successful women-owned-and-operated production company and self-proclaimed world leader in adult films. "We anticipate that 'Pirates II' will be a successful event and plan on including more films of this type for the Hoff Theater programming in the future."
About four years ago, Hoff Theater hosted a successful screening of the 1972 classic "Deep Throat," which ultimately led Hoff to book "Pirates II."
"We waited four years because I wanted to make sure it was right," Cunningham said. "I didn't just want to show, you know, we're not a porn theater. We show mainly independent and art films, and I think with porn films there's only so many films that students will watch in a theater with their friends."
Tickets are $5 apiece and the show is open to the public. Hoff Theater holds 550, and as of last week, 150 advance tickets had been purchased. A sellout is expected.
The theater's Saturday schedule also includes a private event at 2 p.m. and "Madagascar 2" at noon.
"Pirates" and "Pirates II" are billed as the most expensive porn films ever produced. "Pirates II" was released on DVD in September and Blu-ray in November. A skinemax version released in February can be found at retailers like Blockbuster and Best Buy, as well as online.
The film features a bunch of famous porn stars who've had their names copyrighted or trademarked, making us afraid to list them here. Thank God for The Internet Movie Database.
"It does have a lot of stars that college kids know," Cunningham said. "And it looks really good, the actual cinematography of it."
