We've spent enough time concerning ourselves with Saturday's would-be Rapture, when we've neglected another, more hilariously terrifying spectre: The zombie apocalypse constantly joshed about by the cool kids.
Turns out, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has been paying attention.
"Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schoolman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in 'Night of the Living Dead'," the CDC says, "and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent."
The CDC wants to help you and your family survive a zombie invasion (or any other natural disaster -- aww, see, they are sorta using this all as a teaching tool!) by stocking up on water (one gallon per person per day), non-perishable food, extra medications, tools (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.) and more.
The Washington Post, however, is rightfully concerned this may not be enough to thrive in a post-zombie-invasion world, and checked in with Texas mom Jenny Lawson, who's spent years prepping her home for the uprising.
We have a large collection of swords available because they don't need ammunition. Swords are the key to surviving a sustained zombie apocalypse. Also we have a lot of interior rooms with no windows. This comes in handy for tornadoes as well. Zombies and tornadoes have a surprising amount in common.
Darn it, CDC! You forgot the samurai swords! Stocking up extra soap is fine, but all that's gonna do is help us end up with clean, fragrant zombies.
We're going back to thinking about the Rapture now.
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