In the friendly township of Annapolis, Maryland's current capital and the former capital of a nascent United States of America, there is basically one "thing to do" for residents, who get sick of the downtown tourist-y nonsense rather quickly: Go to the ever-expanding Mall, now one of the eastern seaboard's biggest!
But for a period in early August, partaking in this favorite local pastime brought with it many dangers, for there was a monster on the loose "by the Sears entrance," killing everyone.
The discovery of a rabid kitten outside the Sears store at the Westfield Annapolis shopping center Wednesday spurred county health officials to seek out anyone who might have come in contact with stray cats in that area in the past two weeks.
Aww, sad kitty.
Indeed, the Anne Arundel County Department of Health is looking for any and all of those who came in contact with this evil demon "in the parking lot of the Westfield Annapolis Mall over the past few weeks." Since every resident of Annapolis and its surroundings would have been in this parking lot several hundred times over the past few weeks, the entire region has likely devolved into a rabid zombie coven by now, and should be firebombed by the Air Force.
But seriously, the county health department can be reached at 410-222-7256. A zombie will answer the phone.
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.
